getting married is the same as colonizing mars

In college, we thought the idea of getting engaged was really terrifying.

This was partially because, according to all the Meg Ryan movies I watched as a child, finding your lifelong mate is supposed to be some amazing journey full of serendipitous circumstance. Like a chance-encounter-turned-masquerade between book-lovers (You've Got Mail). Or a slow realization of love for a life-long friend who keeps re-entering your life (When Harry Met Sally). And even if you end up with that person, THAT guy might be the wrong guy, and in fact the right guy is some dude on the radio you've never even met (Sleepless in Seattle).

Whenever I asked fellow movie-goers about why those two people in the movie ended up together, the answer was inevitably: "They are right for each other."

"'Right for each other?'" I'd echo in dismay, "I really have no idea what that means."

The answer? "You'll know when it happens."

The incredibly vague nature of this statement has led to a certain level of anxiety during first dates.

Also, it made me worry that if there hadn't been at least one serious, drama-generating fight worthy of amazing screen-time and great cinematography, we were NOT "right for each other."

Clearly, "right for each other" is an incredibly vague and stupid metric that has caused me some level of anxiety. I have come up with a more specific and better test.

First, a backstory.

I like to fantasize about colonizing Mars. When I was a nerdy child, I did not go to sporty outdoors camp like the rest of the kids. Instead I went to nerd camp and took a class called Astrobiology, where we talked about what it would be like to live in space and discover new life forms. We learned about things like the habitable zone, and the evolution of new life. We sculpted clay aliens. It was awesome, and it made me want to colonize Mars.

So, when I talked to my friends about marriage, I realized that marriage is basically like colonizing Mars.

Here is the situation:

You live on earth with everyone you know. And then people are like, "Oh hey, please go colonize Mars. We have everything set up for you, like a basic living environment and everything. You don't have to have any special skills to live there. And you can bring only one person with you."

The question you have to ask yourself is, who do you bring? Would you bring the person you are currently dating? Might you bring them, if things continued to go well for another year?

We always ask each other, "Am I right for this person? Are they right for me?" But that's super vague. That's not a real situation. Instead, I ask, "Would you bring them to Mars?" If you wouldn't bring the person to Mars, and you don't think you ever will, you probably shouldn't be dating them.