kids are like cats

20-somethings are not always good with small children. This is a problem at large family gatherings like reunions or weddings. The kids know they are supposed to like you, because their moms say they should. However, they are suspicious because they haven't seen you in a long time.

In order to relieve stress of trying to both take care of kids and participate in family events, the moms might pass their kids off to you with a comment like, "Can you watch Billy?" or "You're good with kids, right?"

If you own a cat, you can answer with a resounding, "Of course!" Because kids are like cats.

For example, is a list of stuff my cat likes that my cousins also like.

1) Being ignored.
Trying too hard with kids and cats has the same result.

It usually ends with the smaller party hiding under a couch or in a closet. However, both kids and cats inevitably seem to drift towards the person at a family event who is least interested in them. So, you should ignore them. They will think you are the coolest person in the world.

2) Playing with things that are NOT toys.
According to my friends who majored in psychology, this has something to do with non-toys being "novel objects." Either way, kids and cats seem to want to play with everything except for the presents people have bought for them. Plus, they both love cardboard boxes and paper bags.

3) Climbing on people.
Kids and cats really enjoy using adult humans as their own personal jungle gym. Admit it-- if you were that small, you would too.

4) Giving weird presents.
My cat gets really offended if I don't accept his dead birds. Even if your cousin draws you something as strange as a dead bird, you should make a big deal over it. Otherwise, like my cat, he will spend all day being sad.

So, if you know how to make a cat happy, you probably know how to make a kid happy. Accordingly, if you know how to make a cat UNhappy, you know what NOT to do with kids.

DO NOT...
1) Force them to wear outfits
2) Expect them to do tricks
3) Tickle them
4) Give them stupid nicknames
5) Feed them after midnight

No wait... that's gremlins.

Summary venn diagrams!