The Deserted Island Test

I live in constant fear of being marooned on a deserted island. It influences a lot of my everyday thinking.

The only time this paranoia has worked in my favor is when I think about careers. This line of thinking has led me to a career-choosing method called "the deserted island test." I use the deserted island test to help many of my fellow confused twenty-somethings when they ask me for career advice. Here is how it works.

 Alternately:

It seems silly, but many careers that are useful on a deserted island are generally useful in modern society. There are exceptions, but many of these jobs correlate well with good job security and salary. Plus, if you get marooned on a deserted island, you'll be an asset to the community of survivors.

Here are some examples of jobs my friends have considered, and how they fare with the deserted island test and other positive job attributes.

A note to all satisfied lawyers and plumbers and all unsatisfied ninjas: this chart may not apply to you.

 Note that, if we apply this graph to Gilligan's Island characters instead of jobs, the result is a little different:

Gilligan's island of uselessness.

Anyhow.
If a career fails the deserted island test, it does not mean that you should not do it. There are many successful creative professionals. There are many happy lottery winners. If you do not want to be a ninja or a doctgineer, that is okay. The deserted island test takes an exception if the following occurs.

If your response is "unicycling/writing/rockstaring will always find a way," then nothing else is going to do it for you except for that thing. If this is your philosophy, congratulations-- you may have the inner drive to be the best unicycler/writer/rockstarer ever. Screw survival rates. Do what you love, and be really, really good at it.

Hooray!

Here's a bonus flowchart of the deserted island test, in case you want to administer it yourself.

[Update: I fixed the flowchart to be better. Hooray!]