A hamster is just a hamster. Unless you read the Redwall books. And then, a hamster is the leader of your righteous quest full of adventure, ballads, and strawberry cordial. My friends and I liked to imagine that the hamster was like the abbot from any Redwall book, except that she also had a plane.
One day, my brother decided to kidnap the venerable leader of our abbey.
As the only boy in the family, my brother had all the nerf guns. Like Cluny the Scourge, he and his friends were intimidating in their ferocity and weaponry.
We had to come up with creative battle technique, and fast. We tried using dishcloths as slings and Koosh balls and rocks. These weapons flew too slowly and inaccurately to even be an annoyance to the enemy. Then: inspiration. We decided to make Gullwhackers.
In the book "Mariel of Redwall," the title character awakes on a beach, with no weapons except the ropes that once bound her in servitude. As a gull approaches to attack her, she uses the heavily knotted end of the rope as a flail to hit the gull and send it away. This weapon, dubbed "the Gullwhacker," is Mariel's sole method of attack throughout the book.
We did not have rope. But we did have sweatshirts.
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| DISCLAIMER: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. DO NOT USE ON ANOTHER LIVING BEING. CREATION OF SWEATSHIRT GULLWHACKER IS FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF PRETENDING YOU ARE MARIEL OF REDWALL AND FOR NO OTHER PURPOSE. |
After testing them on the walls, the floor, various pieces of furniture, and each other, we decided that our army of two was ready for a rescue mission.
It went something like this:
As in every Redwall book, it ended with a feast.
Indeed - love the last line. What was your favorite book? Miss those days of sitting in my sun-soaked living room reading Redwall and eating cereal...
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